blogs are dumb

on your machine i slur a plea for you to come home
but i know it's too late
i should have given you a reason to stay...
given you a reason to stay.

tb&tb. AW!

picnic in central park.

veselka.

school is crazy and winding down. so i don't have that much time for this so quick update:

new york was so much fun.

75 days left until london. i cannot fucking wait.

3 class days left. plus 1 class. 

my 7 page philosophy paper is gonna rape me.

my house is nasty and dirty. i don't like being here and don't feel like cleaning it anymore then i have.

beth and i just watched boy in the striped pajamas. horribly sad.

i need a superfitness membership but have no money.

i can't wait to make some damn movies in my production classes next semester.

still haven't found an apartment. still have time though.

i have decided my new apartment i will take time to decorate and make homey. 

i'm sorting a lot out in my head lately. it's like a light bulb went on and now i can't turn it the fuck off. sometimes i would much rather.

i say this alot, but theres a lot of cant wait for. i can't wait til it stops effing raining, the weather is nice, class is over and i will have time to get some reading done, horseback ride in the sun, and spend time cooking, because i like it.

but i know it's too late, i should have given you a reason to stay.

take what you love and burn it down

some pictures from the weekend of a few of my favorite people:

i've almost made it through the week. i'm proud of myself for actually waking up in time to go to work from philly this morning. Today i just have a bunch of errands to run and then I have a short day of classes to get through. I am very happy to have found out today that I will be getting over $500 for my tax rebates. Cannot wait for that. Would have been helpful to have it now for new york this weekend, but eh, can't have it all. New York for four days is going to be extremely helpful and relaxing away from here and maybe I'll get some of my huge philosophy paper done while Todd's at work.... It's supposed to get up to 70 and plus i'll be alone with a cute boy for all that time. Who can argue with that?! I am mad excited. 

Brando is doing that weird chew thing on my leg right now. Thought it was worth mentioning. You have to be here I guess. I have realized i need to stop being naive to certain things. I try to see the good in people too often I think. I have to start taking the bad as well. 

Spring Fling was postponed until next week which makes me happy because it is one of my favorite days of the year and it would not be nearly as fun if it wasn't 75 and sunny.

Okay, just need to run errands and then pack, go to film, watch lost and i'm out. 

Life is good, however confusing it may be.

Weighing the cost of the love you make
Measure again, yeah
Feeling the weight of the bones you break
Break them again, yea

Please cut me out, cut me out
Plot and make me the lover you wanted
When you were young and asleep
And I’m fine when you, you burn my core from a bottle
The lover you wanted while you waited so long

And we need something to look at while we tear you up,

 take what you love and burn it down, and burn it down
You swear to build, we swear to come and burn it down

oh you took my love

all i need is the air i breathe and a place to rest my head.

my mom bought me another curling iron for easter so i now have 5 of different sizes and no straightener, curly for life?

i think my might finally have my priorities straight, or at least i'm coming very close. my car is totalled. as of now it is sitting in my driveway until we take it to be sold for parts. sad. i'll miss it, we had some good times since I had it since before i even got my license. i don't know what's going to happen from there. i know that i wont be getting another one for a long time and will have to make due without it. 

easter sunday was pretty good. work was calm but i still managed to make $140 bucks in 4 hours. can't argue with that. todd just left so i'm doing this while i work up the nerve to wake up and get moving. this weekend was also good. todd stayed for most of it, chilled with ashlie and katie and got to see some friends haven't in awhile. i'm slightly more caught up with school but i don't expect it to stay that way since the semester is winding down. my schedule for next fall is as follows: 

Monday-  12:00-1:50 Experimental Video and Multi-Media

Tuesday- 2:00-3:20 Basic Movement for the Actor

3:30-4:50 Mosaic Humanities

5:30-9:30 Film Comedy

Wednesday-  12:00-1:50 Exp. Video

6:00-6:50 Piano for non-majors

Thursday 2:00-3:20 Acting

  3:30-4:50 Mosaic Humanities

  5:30-9:20 Still Photography for Filmmakers

Pretty stoked. My riding lesson will most likely be monday night or fridays and we are getting a new trainer which is really exciting. I'm still not sure which classes i'll be taking over in London. I need to go and meet with an advisor to pick them out tomorrow.

i've found some promising apartments in the city but have only been to look at one since i got in an accident the day after. i still have a lot of time so i'm not extremely worried. excited is more like it. 

well since today is a free day i suppose i'm going to try and workout and get some other things done and hold my breath until thursday when we leave to spend a long weekend in manhattan. cannottttt wait. 

my fake plastic love

she looks like the real thing,
she tastes like the real thing. my fake plastic love.

but I can't help but feel I could blow through the ceiling if I just turn and run. and it wears me out, it wears me out.

and if I could be who you wanted, and if I could be who you wanted....all the time.


thank god its the weekend. my philosophy class is one big mind fuck and makes me think all day long and I can't take it. everything is just a version of something else.

I want to do something tonight since I spent yesterday doing nothing but eating and sleeping. Hahah sucks but hopefully if I start taking my vitamins regularly the iron will kick in and ill have a normal level of energy. Everything is kind of just on hold and I hate that since I'm the furthest thing from a patient person. Maybe today things will start moving along again.